It has been almost a month since YouTuber beauty Jaclyn Hill deleted her social networks and went silent. In the midst of the drama of her Launch of Jaclyn Cosmetics lipstick, she disappeared from social networks, posting an apology video, then would have taken some free time. Now she’s back, posting a new YouTube video that deals with her absence.

While Jaclyn has now reactivated her Instagram account but not her Twitter, the nearly 20-minute video explains why she chose to stay out of social media. Like E! reports, she begins the video with a confession, saying, “I feel very uncomfortable right now. I’m terrified… I’m terrified of everything.”

Jaclyn goes on to admit that the launch of her lipsticks was a “failure”. In case you missed it, here’s what happened: May 30, Jaclyn spear a line of nude lipsticks. After the release, many customers came forward to allege their lipsticks contained gaps, with some reporting suspected hair and bubbles in their product; Jaclyn later spoke about it in a statement, telling customers he was a manufacturing error. She, along with the Jaclyn Cosmetics company, assured customers that lipsticks were always safe to use, and customers were offered product refunds, if they contacted.

Then, on June 24, it was announced that every customer who purchased the lipstick received a refund. “I will be making a full refund, including postage and taxes, to every customer, from Jaclyn Cosmetics,” Jaclyn said on her Instagram account. “I don’t care about the loss of this money. You know how embarrassing it is for me. I will do whatever I can to get things done and learn from this lesson God has given me.”

After announcing the refund, Jaclyn deleted her social media and she explained in the new video that she did it on purpose. “I walked into this place where I was so obscured and unable to rebuild my brand, unable to understand what was going on, and I knew that in order to do well, to make my mark well, I had to do myself right,” she said. “I was like, ‘I can’t do this … I need to focus.'”

She admits she was “embarrassed” by the launch and again apologized to customers. She also revealed that she has no plans to work with the same lab and that all of her future makeup ideas are on hold. It’s unclear when she might make a full social media return, but the beauty community will be sure to watch as her video includes a promise to subscribers that a new makeup tutorial is coming soon.

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You want more Vogue teens? Check this out: Another day, more beauty drama: Jaclyn Hill deleted all of her social media

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